All my schemes of usefulness would not then have been blasted.

The tenderness of my heart would not have heated my imagination with visions of the ineffable delight of happy love; nor would the sweet duty of a mother have been so cruelly interrupted.
"But I must not suffer the fortitude I have so hardly acquired, to be undermined by unavailing regret.

Let me hasten forward to describe the turbid stream in which I had to wade--but let me exultingly declare that it is passed--my soul holds fellowship with him no more.

He cut the Gordian knot, which my principles, mistaken ones, respected; he dissolved the tie, the fetters rather, that ate into my very vitals--and I should rejoice, conscious that my mind is freed, though confined in hell itself, the only place that even fancy can imagine more dreadful than my present abode.
"These varying emotions will not allow me to proceed.

I heave sigh after sigh; yet my heart is still oppressed.