It's a relief to own up even to you, Rilla.

I wouldn't confess it to anybody else--Nan and Di would despise me.

But I hate the whole thing--the horror, the pain, the ugliness.

War isn't a khaki uniform or a drill parade--everything I've read in old histories haunts me.

I lie awake at night and see things that have happened--see the blood and filth and misery of it all.