I wish I could feel it now.

I wish I could feel some respect even.

But I can't.

If I could, it would lessen the horror that has got hold of me to my bones." It was a torture to her generous soul that she could not grieve for him.
She could only shudder at the tragedy.

In her heart she grieved more for Anastasius Papadopoulos, and in so doing she was, in her feminine way, self-accusative of callous lack of human feeling.