I consented, without perceiving to what a degree I engaged myself.

The consequence was that I no longer visited her at my own hour -- but at hers, and that I never was certain of being master of myself for a day together.

This constraint considerably diminished the pleasure I had in going to see her.

I found the liberty she had so frequently promised was given me upon no other condition than that of my never enjoying it; and once or twice when I wished to do this there were so many messages, notes, and alarms relative to my health, that I perceived that I could have no excuse but being confined to my bed, for not immediately running to her upon the first intimation.

It was necessary I should submit to this yoke, and I did it, even more voluntarily than could be expected from so great an enemy to dependence: the sincere attachment I had to Madam D'Epinay preventing me, in a great measure, from feeling the inconvenience with which it was accompanied.