We, therefore, bargained with the driver, whose name was Joey, to give us a cast to the next stage for a shilling; at which place we should meet the master of the waggon, with whom we might agree for the rest of the journey.
Accordingly the convenience stopped, and Joey having placed the ladder, Strap (being loaded with our baggage) mounted first; but, just as he was getting in, a tremendous voice assailed his ears in these words: "God's fury! there shall no passengers come here." The poor shaver was so disconcerted at this exclamation, which both he and I imagined proceeded from the mouth of a giant, that he descended with great velocity and a countenance as white as paper.

Joey, perceiving our astonishment, called, with an arch sneer, "Waunds, coptain, whay woant yau sooffer the poor waggoneer to meake a penny?
Coom, coom, young man, get oop, get oop, never moind the coptain; I'se not afeard of the coptain." This was not encouragement sufficient to Strap, who could not be prevailed upon to venture up again; upon which I attempted, though not without a quaking heart, when I heard the same voice muttering, like distant thunder--"Hell and the devil confound me, if I don't make you smart for this!" However, I crept in, and by accident got an empty place in the straw, which I immediately took possession of, without being able to discern the faces of my fellow-travellers in the dark.

Strap following, with the knapsack on his back, chanced to take the other side, and, by a jolt of the carriage, pitched directly upon the stomach of the captain, who bellowed out, in a most dreadful manner, "Blood and thunder! where's my sword ?" At these words my frighted comrade started up, and, at one spring, bounced against me with such force that I thought he was the supposed son of Anak, who intended to press me to death.

In the meantime a female voice cried, "Bless me! what is the matter, my dear ?" "The matter," replied the captain, "d--n my blood! my guts are squeezed into a pancake by that Scotchman's hump." Strap, trembling all the while at my back, asked him pardon, and laid the blame of what had happened upon the jolting of the waggon; and the woman who spoke before went on: "Ay, ay, my dear, it is our own fault; we may thank ourselves for all the inconveniences we meet with.

I thank God I never travelled so before.