You have heard, I suppose, as how a countryman of ours, a journeyman baker, ran away with a great lady of this town, and now keeps his coach.

I say nothing; but yesterday morning as I was shaving a gentleman at his own house, there was a young lady in the room, and she threw so many sheep's eyes at a certain person whom I shall not name, that my heart went knock, knock, knock, like a fulling mill, and my hand sh-sh-shook so much that I sliced a piece of skin off the gentleman's nose; whereby he uttered a deadly oath, and was going to horsewhip me, when she prevented him, and made my peace.

Is not a journeyman barber as good as a journeyman baker?
The only difference is, the baker uses flour for the belly, and the barber rises it for the head: and as the head is a more noble member than the belly, so is a barber more noble than a baker--for what's the belly without the head?
Besides, I am told, he could neither read nor write; now you know I can do both, and moreover, speak Latin--but I will say no more, for I despise vanity--nothing is more vain than vanity." With these words, he pulled out of his pocket a wax-candle`s end, which he applied to his forehead; and upon examination, I found had combed his own hair over the toupee of his wig, and was, indeed, in his whole dress, become a very smart shaver.

I congratulated him on his prospect with a satirical smile, which he understood very well; and, shaking his head, observed, I had very little faith, but the truth would come to light in spite of my incredulity..