On the other hand, I am a poor but honest cobbler's son: my mother was as industrious a woman as ever broke bread, till such time as she took to drinking, which you very well know; but everybody has failings--Humanum est errare.

Now myself, I am a poor journeyman barber, tolerably well made and understand some Latin, and have a smattering of Greek; but what of that?
Perhaps I might also say, that I know a little of the world; but that is to no purpose,--though you be gentle, and I simple, it does not follow, but that I who am simple may do a good office to you who are gentle.

Now this is the case: my kinsman, the schoolmaster--perhaps you did not know he how nearly he is related to me--I'll satisfy you in that presently; his mother and my grandmother's sister's nephew--no, that's not it!--my grandfather's brother's daughter--rabbit it! I have forgot the degree.

But this I know, he and I are cousins seven times removed." My impatience to know the good office he had done me, got the better of my temper, and I interrupted him at this place with the exclamation, "If the schoolmaster or you can be of any advantage to me, why don't you tell me without all this preamble ?" When I pronounced these words with some vehemence, Strap looked at me for same time with a grave countenance, and then went on: "I'm very sorry to see such an alteration in your temper of late; you were always fiery, but now you are grown as crabbed as old Periwinkle the drunken tinker, on whom you and I (God forgive us!) played so many unlucky tricks while we were at school--but I will no longer detain you in suspense, because (doubtless) nothing is more uneasy than doubt--Dubio procul dubio nil dubius.

My friend or relation, or which you will, or both, the schoolmaster, being informed of the regard I have for you; for you may be sure I did not fail to let him know of your good qualities--by the bye, he has undertaken to teach you the pronunciation of the English tongue, without which, he says, you will be unfit for business in this country--I say my relation has spoke in your behalf to a French apothecary who wants a journeyman; and on his recommendation you may have fifteen pounds a year, bed and board, whenever you please." I was too much interested in this piece of news to entertain it with indifference; but, jumping up, insisted on Strap's immediately accompanying me to the house of his friend, that I might not lose this opportunity through the least delay or neglect on my part.
We were informed, that the schoolmaster was in company at a publichouse in the neighbourhood, whither we repaired, and found him drinking with the very individual apothecary in question.