The paralysis of fear.
Since we are talking as I never thought to talk with a human being, I may as well make my confession.

I'm a man of strong animal passions.
When I see red, I daresay I'm just a brute beast.

But I'm a physical coward.

Owing to this paralysis of fear, this ghastly inhibition of muscular or nervous action, I have gone through things even worse than that South-African business.

I go about like a man under a curse.