I knew I was behaving wrongly; I can't defend myself....

I have never concealed my faults from you--the greatest of them is my fear of poverty.

I believe it is this that has prevented me from returning your love as I wished to do.

For a long time I have been playing a deceitful part, and the strange thing is that I _knew_ my exposure might come at any moment.

I seem to have been led on by a sort of despair.