My wife never comes near me.

What friend have I?
None in the wide world.
Men of the world, as you and I are, don't make friends; and we are fools for our pains.

Get a friend, sir, and that friend a woman--a good household drudge, who loves you.

THAT is the most precious sort of friendship; for the expense of it is all on the woman's side.

The man needn't contribute anything.