They have no other laws.' Therefore these people, compared to himself, appeared to him beautiful, strong, and free, and the sight of them made him feel ashamed and sorry for himself.

Often it seriously occurred to him to throw up everything, to get registered as a Cossack, to buy a hut and cattle and marry a Cossack woman (only not Maryanka, whom he conceded to Lukashka), and to live with Daddy Eroshka and go shooting and fishing with him, and go with the Cossacks on their expeditions.

'Why ever don't I do it?
What am I waiting for ?' he asked himself, and he egged himself on and shamed himself.

'Am I afraid of doing what I hold to be reasonable and right?
Is the wish to be a simple Cossack, to live close to nature, not to injure anyone but even to do good to others, more stupid than my former dreams, such as those of becoming a minister of state or a colonel ?' but a voice seemed to say that he should wait, and not take any decision.

He was held back by a dim consciousness that he could not live altogether like Eroshka and Lukashka because he had a different idea of happiness--he was held back by the thought that happiness lies in self-sacrifice.