October 27th I do not like living.

It is thoroughly disagreeable.

Today Judith taunted me with never having lived, and I admitted the justice of the taunt and regretted in poignant misery the change from my old conditions.

If to live is to have one's reason cast down and trampled under foot, one's heart aflame with a besotted passion and one's soul racked with remorse, then am I living in good sooth--and I would far rather be dead and suffering the milder pains of Purgatory.

Men differently constituted get used to it, as the eels to skinning.