And for fear the rabble comes running up into my monument, to crap, I'll appoint one of my freedmen custodian of my tomb.
I want you to carve ships under full sail on my monument, and me, in my robes of office, sitting on my tribunal, five gold rings on my fingers, pouring out coin from a sack for the people, for I gave a dinner and two dinars for each guest, as you know.

Show a banquet-hall, too, if you can, and the people in it having a good time.

On my right, you can place a statue of Fortunata holding a dove and leading a little bitch on a leash, and my favorite boy, and large jars sealed with gypsum, so the wine won't run out; show one broken and a boy crying over it.

Put a sun-dial in the middle, so that whoever looks to see what time it is must read my name whether he wants to or not.

As for the inscription, think this over carefully, and see if you think it's appropriate: HERE RESTS G POMPEIUS TRIMALCHIO FREEDMAN OF MAECENAS DECREED AUGUSTAL, SEVIR IN HIS ABSENCE HE COULD HAVE BEEN A MEMBER OF EVERY DECURIA OF ROME BUT WOULD NOT CONSCIENTIOUS BRAVE LOYAL HE GREW RICH FROM LITTLE AND LEFT THIRTY MILLION SESTERCES BEHIND HE NEVER HEARD A PHILOSOPHER FAREWELL TRIMALCHIO FAREWELL PASSERBY".