"Pretend," said he, "that you're invited to my funeral feast." The thing had grown positively nauseating, when Trimalchio, beastly drunk by now, bethought himself of a new and singular diversion and ordered some horn-blowers brought into the dining-room.

Then, propped up by many cushions, he stretched himself out upon the couch.

"Let on that I'm dead," said he, "and say something nice about me." The horn-blowers sounded off a loud funeral march together, and one in particular, a slave belonging to an undertaker, made such a fanfare that he roused the whole neighborhood, and the watch, which was patrolling the vicinity, thinking Trimalchio's house was afire, suddenly smashed in the door and rushed in with their water and axes, as is their right, raising a rumpus all their own.

We availed ourselves of this happy circumstance and, leaving Agamemnon in the lurch, we took to our heels, as though we were running away from a real conflagration.
ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: Affairs start to go wrong, your friends will stand from under Doctor's not good for anything except for a consolation Everybody's business is nobody's business He can teach you more than he knows himself Learning's a fine thing, and a trade won't starve Men are lions at home and foxes abroad No one can show a dead man a good time The loser's always the winner in arguments Too many doctors did away with him We know that you're only a fool with a lot of learning Whenever you learn a thing, it's yours Believes, on the spot, every tale You can spot a louse on someone else VOLUME 3 .-- FURTHER ADVENTURES OF ENCOLPIUS AND HIS COMPANIONS.