[The Bride of the Nile Complete by Georg Ebers]@TWC D-Link bookThe Bride of the Nile Complete CHAPTER XIV 17/18
But that sin was but a dream in my life, which can never recur; and as for Katharina--I have sinned against her once, but I will not continue to sin through a whole, long lifetime.
I have been permitted to trifle with love unpunished so often, that at last I have learnt to under-estimate its power.
I could laugh as I sacrificed mine to my mother's wishes; but that, and that alone, has given rise to all these horrors.
But no, all is not yet lost! Paula will listen to me; and when she sees what my inmost feelings are--when I have confessed all to her, good and evil alike--when she knows that my heart did but wander, and has returned to her who has taught me that love is no jest, but solemn earnest, swaying all mankind, she will come round--everything will come right." A noble and rapturous light came into his face, and as he walked on, his hopes rose: "When she is mine I know that everything good in me that I have inherited from my forefathers will blossom forth.
When my mother called me to my father's bed-side, she said: 'Come, Orion, life is earnest for you and me and all our house, your father...' Yes, it is earnest indeed, however all this may end! To win Paula, to conciliate her, to bring her near to me, to have her by my side and do something great, something worthy of her--this is such a purpose in life as I need! With her, only with her I know I could achieve it; without her, or with that gilded toy Katharina, old age will bring me nothing but satiety, sobering and regrets--or, to call it by its Christian designation: bitter repentance. As Antaeus renewed his strength by contact with mother earth, so, father do I feel myself grow taller when I only think of her.
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