I don't think he ever was sorry for me or for you, until perhaps these last few weeks; but I have sorrowed ever since the day you came to me very day, every hour, every minute; and the more because I could not tell John Grier the truth.
Perhaps I ought to have told the truth long ago, and faced the consequences.

It might seem now that I would have ruined my home life, and yours, and Barode Barouche's, and John Grier's life if I had told the truth; but who knows! There are many outcomes to life's tragedies, and none might have been what I fancied.

It is little comfort that Barode Barouche has now given all for payment of his debt.

It gives no peace of mind.

And it may be you will think I ought not to tell you the truth.