It was long since the knightly walls of Warlock had been honoured by the presence of a guest so courtly.

The good squire heaped his plate with a profusion of boiled beef; and while the poor earl was contemplating in dismay the Alps upon Alps which he was expected to devour, the gray-headed butler, anxious to serve him with alacrity, whipped away the overloaded plate, and presently returned it, yet more astoundingly surcharged with an additional world of a composition of stony colour and sudorific aspect, which, after examining in mute attention for some moments, and carefully removing as well as he was able to the extreme edge of his plate, the earl discovered to be suet pudding.
"You eat nothing, my lord," cried the squire; "let me give you--this is more underdone;" holding between blade and fork in middle air abhorrent fragment of scarlet, shaking its gory locks,--"another slice." Swift at the word dropped upon Mauleverer's plate the harpy finger and ruthless thumb of the gray-headed butler.

"Not a morsel more," cried the earl, struggling with the murderous domestic.

"My dear sir, excuse me; I assure you I have never ate such a dinner before,--never!" "Nay, now!" quoth the squire, expostulating, "you really (and this air is so keen that your lordship should indulge your appetite, if you follow the physician's advice) eat nothing!" Again Mauleverer was at fault.
"The physicians are right, Mr.Brandon," said he, "very right, and I am forced to live abstemiously; indeed I do not know whether, if I were to exceed at your hospitable table, and attack all that you would bestow upon me, I should ever recover it.

You would have to seek a new lieutenant for your charming county, and on the tomb of the last Mauleverer the hypocritical and unrelated heir would inscribe, 'Died of the visitation of Beef, John, Earl, etc.'" Plain as the meaning of this speech might have seemed to others, the squire only laughed at the effeminate appetite of the speaker, and inclined to think him an excellent fellow for jesting so good-humouredly on his own physical infirmity.