With his heart continually assuring him that he was despicable, he could not exist without making it, through his actions, apparent to all men.
If the army had gone gloriously on he would be lost.

If the din meant that now his army's flags were tilted forward he was a condemned wretch.

He would be compelled to doom himself to isolation.

If the men were advancing, their indifferent feet were trampling upon his chances for a successful life.
As these thoughts went rapidly through his mind, he turned upon them and tried to thrust them away.

He denounced himself as a villain.