I thought you really meant to kill him.

You don't know what you're seeking." "I seek a burden," laughed Stavrogin.
"If you didn't want blood yourself, why did you give him a chance to kill you ?" "If I hadn't challenged him, he'd have killed me simply, without a duel." "That's not your affair.

Perhaps he wouldn't have killed you." "Only have beaten me ?" "That's not your business.

Bear your burden.

Or else there's no merit." "Hang your merit.