Now you will decide my fate, and...

that unhappy creature's, and then...

shall I pour out all I feel to you as I used to in old days, four years ago?
You deigned to listen to me then, you read my verses....

They might call me your Falstaff from Shakespeare in those days, but you meant so much in my life! I have great terrors now, and its only to you I look for counsel and light.
Pyotr Stepanovitch is treating me abominably!" Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch listened with interest, and looked at him attentively.

It was evident that though Captain Lebyadkin had left off drinking he was far from being in a harmonious state of mind.
Drunkards of many years' standing, like Lebyadkin, often show traces of incoherence, of mental cloudiness, of something, as it were, damaged, and crazy, though they may deceive, cheat, and swindle, almost as well as anybody if occasion arises.
"I see that you haven't changed a bit in these four years and more, captain," said Nikolay Vsyevolodovitch, somewhat more amiably.