Now I remembered how the Dashwoods had courted my intimacy and encouraged my visits,--how Lucy herself had evinced in a thousand ways that she felt a preference for me.

I called to mind the many unequivocal proofs I had given her that my feeling at least was no common one; and yet, how had she sported with my affections, and jested with my happiness! That she loved Hammersley I had now a palpable proof.

That this affection must have been mutual, and prosecuted at the very moment I was not only professing my own love for her, but actually receiving all but an avowal of its return,--oh, it was too, too base! and in my deepest heart I cursed my folly, and vowed never to see her more.
It was late on the next day ere I retraced my steps towards town, my heart sad and heavy, careless what became of me for the future, and pondering whether I should not at once give up my college career and return to my uncle.

When I reached my chambers, all was silent and comfortless; Webber had not returned; my servant was from home; and I felt myself more than ever wretched in the solitude of what had been so oft the scene of noisy and festive gayety.

I sat some hours in a half-musing state, every sad depressing thought that blighted hopes can conjure up rising in turn before me.