'What care I ?' however, was my reflection; 'my views are honorable; and the nephew and heir of Sir Toby Sparks--' Just in the very act of making this reflection, the old man in the shorts hit me in the eye with a roasted apple, calling out at the moment:-- "'When did you join, thou child of the pale-faces ?' "'Mr.Murdocks!' cried the general, in a voice of thunder; and the little man hung down his head, and spoke not.
"'A word with you, young gentleman,' said a fat old lady, pinching my arm above the elbow.
"'Never mind her,' said Isabella, smiling; 'poor dear old Dorking, she thinks she's an hour-glass.

How droll, isn't it ?' "'Young man, have you any feelings of humanity ?' inquired the old lady, with tears in her eyes as she spoke; 'will you, dare you assist a fellow-creature under my sad circumstances ?' "'What can I do for you, Madam ?' said I, really feeling for her distress.
"'Just like a good dear soul, just turn me up, for I'm nearly run out.' "Isabella burst out a laughing at the strange request,--an excess which, I confess, I was unable myself to repress; upon which the old lady, putting on a frown of the most ominous blackness, said:-- "'You may laugh, Madam; but first before you ridicule the misfortunes of others, ask yourself are you, too, free from infirmity?
When did you see the ace of spades, Madam?
Answer me that.' "Isabella became suddenly pale as death; her very lips blanched, and her voice, almost inaudible, muttered:-- "'Am I, then, deceived?
Is not this he ?' So saying, she placed her hand upon my shoulder.
"'That the ace of spades ?' exclaimed the old lady, with a sneer,--'that the ace of spades!' "'Are you, or are you not, sir ?' said Isabella, fixing her deep and languid eyes upon me.

'Answer me, as you are honest; are you the ace of spades ?' "'He is the King of Tuscarora.

Look at his war paint!' cried an elderly gentleman, putting a streak of mustard across my nose and cheek.
"'Then am I deceived,' said Isabella.

And flying at me, she plucked a handful of hair out of my whiskers.
"'Cuckoo, cuckoo!' shouted one; 'Bow-wow-wow!' roared another; 'Phiz!' went a third; and in an instant, such a scene of commotion and riot ensued.
Plates, dishes, knives, forks, and decanters flew right and left; every one pitched into his neighbor with the most fearful cries, and hell itself seemed broke loose.