I know I should have done it if I had had the chance.

I thought over all sorts of ways in which I might kill him, and I wouldn't quite swear that I did not think of this plan and carry it out, though it doesn't quite seem to me that I did.

I have no very definite idea what happened that night, and certainly could give but a vague account of myself from the time I left the house till next morning, when I found myself lying stiff and half frozen on the moor.

Anyhow, whether I killed him or not it's all the same.

I should have done so if I could.