Were she to do so, what would be left to her?
With him she could bear anything, everything.

To starve would hardly be bitter to her, so that his arm could be round her waist, and that her head could be on his shoulder.

And, moreover, was she not his to do with as he pleased?
After all her promises to him, how could she take upon herself to dispose of herself otherwise than as he might direct?
But then some thought of the missing document came back upon her, and she remembered in her grief that he suspected her--that even now he had some frightful doubt as to her truth to him--her faith, which was, alas, alas! more firm and bright towards him than towards that heavenly Friend whose aid would certainly suffice to bring her through all her troubles, if only she could bring herself to trust as she asked it.

But she could trust only in him, and he doubted her! Would it not be better to do as Rebecca said, and make the most of such contentment as might come to her from her triumph over herself?
That would be better--ten times better than to be abandoned by him--to be deserted by her Jew lover, because the Jew would not trust her, a Christian! On either side there could be nothing for her but death; but there is a choice even of deaths.

If she did the thing herself, she thought that there might be something sweet even in the sadness of her last hour--something of the flavour of sacrifice.