I felt as solitary as a pelican.
Remember, I was not fighting for any whimsy about honour, nor even for the love of Elspeth.

I had openly provoked Grey because the hostility of the young gentry had become an intolerable nuisance in my daily life.

So, with such pedestrian reasons in my mind, I could have none of the heady enthusiasm of passion.

I wanted him and his kind cleared out of my way, like a noisome insect, but I had no flaming hatred of him to give me heart.
The consequence was that I became a prey to dismal fear.

That bravery which knows no ebb was never mine.