But not loving her, I had merely cherished a wholesome fear of her displeasure, and could quite comprehend what a full display of anger on her part might call up in her sensitive, already deeply suffering sister.

The scathing arraignment, the unbearable taunt--Well, well, it was all dream-work, but I had time to dream and opportunity for little else, and pictures, which till now I had sedulously kept in the background of my imagination, would come to the front as I harped on this topic and weighed in my disturbed mind the following question: Should I continue the course which I had instinctively taken out of a natural sense of chivalry, or face my calumniators with the truth and leave my cause and hers to the justice of men, rather than to the slow but righteous workings of Providence?
I struggled with the dilemma for hours, the more so, that I did not stand alone in the world.

I had relatives and I had friends, some of whom had come to see me and gone away deeply grieved at my reticence.

I was swayed, too, by another consideration.

I had deeply loved my mother.