You may call the burden consequence or what you will, the name doesn't matter.

The weight of that youthful, selfish, unpardonable act which bound a young girl to me without giving her the protection which that bond demanded, was always upon me, crushing out the joy of life.
The news of her death made no difference, except to render me hopeless of ever making up to her for the wrong I had done.

Her death did not set me free, it bound me closer.
"I seemed like one caught in the tow of some swift tide, always fighting to get back, yet eternally being drawn away.

The tide still flows out, for the tide of human life is the only tide which never returns, but I have ceased to struggle.

I no longer look back.