[Snake and Sword by Percival Christopher Wren]@TWC D-Link book
Snake and Sword

CHAPTER V
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Had she striven to win their love instead, her ministrations might have had some effect (other than infinite irritation and bitter dislike).
She was the Compleat Governess, on paper, and all that a person entrusted with the training of young children should not be, in reality.

She had innumerable and admirable testimonials from various employers of what she termed "aristocratic standing"; endless certificates that testified unto her successful struggles in Music, Drawing, Needlework, German, French, Calisthenics, Caligraphy, and other mysteries, including the more decorous Sciences (against Physiology, Anatomy, Zoology, Biology, and Hygiene she set her face as subjects apt to be, at times, improper), and an appearance and manner themselves irrefragible proofs of the highest moral virtue.
She also had the warm and unanimous witness of the children at Monksmead that she was a Beast.
To those who frankly realize with open eyes that the student of life must occasionally encounter indelicacies upon the pleasant path of research, it may be revealed, in confidence, that they alluded to Miss Smellie as "Sniffy" when not, under extreme provocation, as "Stinker".
She taught them many things and, prominently, Deceit, Hate, and an utter dislike of her God and her Religion--a most disastrous pair.
Poor old "Grumper"; advertising, he got her, paid her highly, and gave her almost absolute control of the minds, souls, and bodies of his young wards and "grandchildren".
"The best of everything" for them--and they, at the average age of eight, a band of depressed, resentful babes, had "hanged, drawed, and quartered" her in effigy, within a month of coming beneath her stony ministrations.
In appearance Miss Smellie was tall, thin, and flat.

Most exceedingly and incredibly flat.

Impossibly flat.

Her figure, teeth, voice, hair, manner, hats, clothes, and whole life and conduct were flat as Euclid's plane-surface or yesterday's champagne.
To counter-balance the possession, perhaps, of so many virtues, gifts, testimonials, and certificates she had no chin, no eyebrows, and no eyelashes.


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