What would it be while he remained in it a publicly disgraced coward?
A coward ridiculed by the effeminate, degenerate Haddock, who had no soul above club-ribbons, and no body above a Piccadilly crawl! Could she love him in spite of all?
She was great-hearted enough for anything.

Perhaps for anything but that.

To her, cowardice must be the last lowest depths of degradation.

Anyhow he had done the straight thing by Grumper, in leaving the house without any attempt to let her know, to say farewell, to ask her to believe in him for a while.

If there had been any question as to the propriety of his trying to become engaged to her when he was the penniless gentleman-cadet, was there any question about it when he was the disgraced out-cast, the publicly exposed coward?
Arrived at the London terminus he sought a recruiting-sergeant and, of course, could not find one.
However, Canterbury and Cavalry were indissolubly connected in his mind, and it had occurred to him that, in the Guards, he would run more risk of coming face to face with people whom he knew than in any other corps.