The captain and engineer greet the inspector--"I s'pose you're come to look at our bilers, sir ?" "Yes, sir, I am." The parties all instinctively drawing nearer and nearer to the bar.

"Well, sir, let's have a drink."-- "Well, sir, let's."-- "A cigar, sir ?"--"Thank'ee, sir!" Parties smoke and drink.

Ingeniously enough, the required document and pen and ink are all lying handy: the obdurate heart of the inspector is quite melted by kindness.

"Well, sir, I s'pose your bilers are all right ?"--"I guess they are that, sir, and nurthin else; you can't go and for to bust them bilers of mine, fix it anyhow you will; you can't that, I do assure you, sir."-- What inspector can doubt such clear evidence.--"Take another glass, sir, do."-- "Thank'ee, I'll sign this paper first." The inspection is over, all except the "glass" and the "'bacco," which continue to flow and fume.

The skippers of these boats are rough enough; but I always found them very civil, plain spoken, and ready to give all the information in their power; and many of them have confessed to me that the inspection was but too often conducted in the manner above described.
There is little to interest in the account of a trip down the river.