But I was in love with you.

I wished to save you by leaving you, and at the same time I was afraid of not seeing you again.

The night that you irritated me with the fury of your desires and I stupidly defended myself, as though it were an outrage, concentrating on your person the hatred which all men inspire in me,--that night, alone in my bed, I wept.

I wept at the thought that I had lost you forever and at the same time I felt satisfied with myself because thus I was freeing you from my baleful influence....

Then von Kramer came.