If I gave up belief in Christ as God, I must give up Christianity as creed.

Once challenge the unique position of the Christ, and the name Christian seemed to me to be a hypocrisy, and its renouncement a duty binding on the upright mind.

I was a clergyman's wife; what would be the effect of such a step?
Hitherto mental pain alone had been the price demanded inexorably from the searcher after truth; but with the renouncing of Christ outer warfare would be added to the inner, and who might guess the result upon my life?
The struggle was keen but short; I decided to carefully review the evidence for and against the Deity of Christ, with the result that that belief followed the others, and I stood, no longer Christian, face to face with a dim future in which I sensed the coming conflict.
One effort I made to escape it; I appealed to Dr.Pusey, thinking that if he could not answer my questionings, no answer to them could be reasonably hoped for.

I had a brief correspondence with him, but was referred only to lines of argument familiar to me--as those of Liddon in his "Bampton Lectures"-- and finally, on his invitation, went down to Oxford to see him.

I found a short, stout gentleman, dressed in a cassock, looking like a comfortable monk; but keen eyes, steadfastly gazing straight into mine, told of the force and subtlety enshrined in the fine, impressive head.