[Sketches by Boz by Charles Dickens]@TWC D-Link book
Sketches by Boz

CHAPTER VII--THE MISPLACED ATTACHMENT OF MR
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The sad-dog sort of feeling came strongly upon John Dounce: he lingered--the lady in blue made no sign.
He coughed--still she came not.

He entered the shop.
'Can you open me an oyster, my dear ?' said Mr.John Dounce.
'Dare say I can, sir,' replied the lady in blue, with playfulness.

And Mr.John Dounce eat one oyster, and then looked at the young lady, and then eat another, and then squeezed the young lady's hand as she was opening the third, and so forth, until he had devoured a dozen of those at eightpence in less than no time.
'Can you open me half-a-dozen more, my dear ?' inquired Mr.John Dounce.
'I'll see what I can do for you, sir,' replied the young lady in blue, even more bewitchingly than before; and Mr.John Dounce eat half-a-dozen more of those at eightpence.
'You couldn't manage to get me a glass of brandy-and-water, my dear, I suppose ?' said Mr.John Dounce, when he had finished the oysters: in a tone which clearly implied his supposition that she could.
'I'll see, sir,' said the young lady: and away she ran out of the shop, and down the street, her long auburn ringlets shaking in the wind in the most enchanting manner; and back she came again, tripping over the coal-cellar lids like a whipping-top, with a tumbler of brandy-and-water, which Mr.John Dounce insisted on her taking a share of, as it was regular ladies' grog--hot, strong, sweet, and plenty of it.
So, the young lady sat down with Mr.John Dounce, in a little red box with a green curtain, and took a small sip of the brandy-and-water, and a small look at Mr.John Dounce, and then turned her head away, and went through various other serio-pantomimic fascinations, which forcibly reminded Mr.John Dounce of the first time he courted his first wife, and which made him feel more affectionate than ever; in pursuance of which affection, and actuated by which feeling, Mr.John Dounce sounded the young lady on her matrimonial engagements, when the young lady denied having formed any such engagements at all--she couldn't abear the men, they were such deceivers; thereupon Mr.John Dounce inquired whether this sweeping condemnation was meant to include other than very young men; on which the young lady blushed deeply--at least she turned away her head, and said Mr.John Dounce had made her blush, so of course she _did_ blush--and Mr.John Dounce was a long time drinking the brandy-and-water; and, at last, John Dounce went home to bed, and dreamed of his first wife, and his second wife, and the young lady, and partridges, and oysters, and brandy-and-water, and disinterested attachments.
The next morning, John Dounce was rather feverish with the extra brandy-and-water of the previous night; and, partly in the hope of cooling himself with an oyster, and partly with the view of ascertaining whether he owed the young lady anything, or not, went back to the oyster-shop.

If the young lady had appeared beautiful by night, she was perfectly irresistible by day; and, from this time forward, a change came over the spirit of John Dounce's dream.

He bought shirt-pins; wore a ring on his third finger; read poetry; bribed a cheap miniature-painter to perpetrate a faint resemblance to a youthful face, with a curtain over his head, six large books in the background, and an open country in the distance (this he called his portrait); 'went on' altogether in such an uproarious manner, that the three Miss Dounces went off on small pensions, he having made the tenement in Cursitor-street too warm to contain them; and in short, comported and demeaned himself in every respect like an unmitigated old Saracen, as he was.
As to his ancient friends, the other old boys, at the Sir Somebody's Head, he dropped off from them by gradual degrees; for, even when he did go there, Jones--vulgar fellow that Jones--persisted in asking 'when it was to be ?' and 'whether he was to have any gloves ?' together with other inquiries of an equally offensive nature: at which not only Harris laughed, but Jennings also; so, he cut the two, altogether, and attached himself solely to the blue young lady at the smart oyster-shop.
Now comes the moral of the story--for it has a moral after all.


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