Billy said his grandpa wuz never happy only when he wuz perfectly miserable.

We have all seen such folks.
So Josiah and I sot off alone, and he bein' in good sperits and bein' gin to new and strange projects, proposed that we should take an ortomobile.

I didn't favor the idee and said: "Id'no about it, Josiah, I feel kinder skairful about ortos, I fear that it might prove our last ride." "But," sez he, "with a good shuffler there hain't any danger." But I still wuz dubersome and sez, "Mebby it would end by our shufflin' off our mortal coils, as Mr.Shakespeare tells on." "You don't wear 'em, Samantha, nor never did, nor I don't wear a pompodoor" (he meant this for a joke for his head is most as bare as a sass plate).
And he went on, "It would be a very stylish and genteel ride.

I'd love to tell brother Gowdey about it.

The bretheren will expect it of me as a live progressive Jonesvillian minglin' here with the noblest in the land to cut sunthin' of a dash." But seein' that I still looked dubersome he sez, "I don't feel very rugged this mornin' and I dread the crowded car; Id'no but I should faint away in 'em if I sot out." That of course settled the matter.