He had outgrown his former self, but this kind of misery it would be but deeper degradation to outgrow.

All before this had been but humiliation; this was shame.

Now first he knew what poverty was! Had God forgotten him?
That could not be! that which could forget could not be God.

Did he not care then that such things should befall his creatures?
Were they but trifles in his eyes?
He ceased thinking, gave way to the feeling that God dealt hardly with him, and sat stupidly indulging a sense of grievance--with self-pity, than which there is scarce one more childish or enfeebling in the whole circle of the emotions.

Was this what God had brought him nearer to Himself for?
was this the end of a ministry in which he had, in some measure at least, denied himself and served God and his fellow?
He could bear any thing but shame! That too could he have borne had he not been a teacher of religion--one whose failure must brand him a hypocrite.