He had naturally, as I have already shown, a fine, honorable, boyish if not childlike nature; and the eyes of his mind were not so dim with good living as one might have feared from the look of those in his head: in the glass of loyalty he now saw himself a defaulter; in the scales of honor he weighed and found himself wanting.

Of true discipleship was not now the question: he had not behaved like an honorable gentleman to Jesus Christ.

It was only in a spasm of terror St.Peter had denied him: John Bevis had for nigh forty years been taking his pay, and for the last thirty at least had done nothing in return.

Either Jesus Christ did not care, and then what was the church ?--what the whole system of things called Christianity ?--or he did care, and what then was John Bevis in the eyes of his Master?
When they reached home, he went neither to the stable nor the study, but, without even lighting a cigar, walked out on the neighboring heath, where he found the universe rather gray about him.

When he returned he tried to behave as usual, but his wife saw that he scarcely ate at supper, and left half of his brandy and water.