All right as a trivet while I'm around, you bet!" "Louisa," said the colonel to his wife as he returned to his couch, "that is a splendid watchman, but I think he's just the least bit too enthusiastic." A couple of nights later, when the door-bell rang at half-past one, the colonel felt somewhat angry, and he determined to stay in bed; but the person on the step below at last began to kick against the front door, when the colonel threw up the window and exclaimed, "What do you want ?" It was the watchman, and he said, "You know old Mrs.Biles up the street yer?
Well, I've just rung Biles up, and he says her rheumatism ain't no better.

Thought you might want to know, so I called.

I felt kinder lonesome out here, too." As Colonel Coffin slammed the sash down he felt mad and murderous.

The next night, however, that faithful guardian applied the toe of his boot to the front door with such energy that the colonel leaped from bed, and protruding his head from the window said, "I wish to _gracious_ you'd stop kicking up this kind of fuss around here every night! What do you mean, anyhow ?" "Why, I only stopped to tell you that Butterwick has two setter pups, and that I'd get you one if you wanted it.

Nothing mean about that, is there ?" The colonel uttered an ejaculatory criticism upon Butterwick and the pups as he closed the window, and a moment later he heard the watchman call up Smith, who lives next door, and remark to him, "They tell me it's a splendid season for bananas, Mr.Smith." When Coffin heard Smith hurling objurgations about bananas and watchmen out upon the midnight air, he knew it was immoral, but he felt his heart warm toward Smith.