William, show this gentleman outside the door." The colonel, who was descending the stairs, turned round to Mr Sullivan at the latter part of his speech, and then, as if thinking better of it, he resumed his descent, and the door was immediately closed upon him.
Mr Sullivan, as soon as he was satisfied that the colonel was shut out, immediately repaired to his wife's dressing-room, where he found her reading.
"Madam," said he, fixing his eyes sternly on her, "I have been informed of what took place last night." "I'm sure I do not know what that was," replied the lady, coolly, "except that you were very tipsy." "Granted, madam; you took advantage of it; and your conduct--" "My conduct, Mr Sullivan!" replied his wife, kindling with anger.
"Yes, Mrs Sullivan, your conduct.

A married woman, madam, who allows gentlemen--" "Gentlemen, Mr Sullivan! I allow no gentleman but yourself.

Are you sure that you are quite sober ?" "Yes, madam, I am; but this affected coolness will not avail you: deny, if you can, that Colonel Ellice did not last night--" "Well, then, I do deny it.

Neither Colonel Ellice nor any other man ever did--" "Did what, madam ?" interrupted the husband in a rage.
"I was going to observe, if you had not interrupted me, that no one was wanting in proper respect towards me," replied the lady, who grew more cool as her husband increased in choler.

"Pray, Mr Sullivan, may I inquire who is the author of this slander ?" "The author, madam! look at me--to your confusion look at me!" "Well, I'm looking." "'Twas, madam--the colonel himself." "The colonel himself!" "Yes, madam, the colonel himself, who called this morning to see you and renew the intimacy, I presume; but by mistake was shown up to me, and then made an apology for his conduct." "It's excessively strange! first the colonel is rude, without my knowledge, and then apologises to you! Mr Sullivan, I'm afraid that your head is not right this morning." "Indeed, madam, I only wish that your heart was as sound," replied the husband, with a sneer; "but, madam, I am not quite blind.