You-all onderstands about a philanthrofist--one of these sports who's allers improvin' some party's condition in a way the party who's improved don't like.
"'A philanthrofist,' says Colonel Sterett, one time when Dan Boggs demands the explanation at his hands; 'a philanthrofist is a gent who insists on you givin' some other gent your money.' "For myse'f, however, I regyards the Colonel's definition as too narrow.
Troo philanthrofy has a heap of things to it that's jest as onreasonable an' which does not incloode the fiscal teachers mentioned by the Colonel.
"As I'm sayin'; these well-meanin' though darkened sports, the philanthrofists, runs Bill down--it's mebby when he's fourteen, only Injuns don't keep tab on their years none--an' immures him in one of the gov'ment schools.

It's thar Bill gets his name, 'Bill Connors.' Before that he cavorts about, free an' wild an' happy onder the Injun app'lation of the 'Jack Rabbit.' "Shore! Bill's sire--a savage who's 'way up in the picture kyards, an' who's called 'Crooked Claw' because of his left hand bein' put out of line with a Ute arrow through it long ago--gives his consent to Bill j'inin' that sem'nary.

Crooked Claw can't he'p himse'f; he's powerless; the Great Father in Washin'ton is backin' the play of the philanthrofists.
"'Which the Great Father is too many for Crooked Claw,' says this parent, commentin' on his helplessness.

Bill's gone canterin' to his old gent to remonstrate, not hungerin' for learnin', an' Crooked Claw says this to Bill: 'The Great Father is too many for Crooked Claw; an' too strong.
You must go to school as the Great Father orders; it is right.

The longest spear is right.' "Bill is re-branded, 'Bill Connors,' an' then he's done bound down to them books.