[Saracinesca by F. Marion Crawford]@TWC D-Link book
Saracinesca

CHAPTER XIII
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The diplomatist only did what everyone else who came near Corona attempted to do at that time, in endeavouring to ascertain whether she herself entertained any feeling for the man whom the gossips had set down as her most devoted admirer.
Poor Duchessa! It was no wonder that she had started at the idea that Giovanni was in trouble.

He had played a great part in her life that day, and she could not forget him.

She had hardly as yet had time to think of what she felt, for it was only by a supreme effort that she had been able to bear the great strain upon her strength.

If she had not loved him, it would have been different; and in the strange medley of emotions through which she was passing, she wished that she might never have loved--that, loving, she might be allowed wholly to forget her love, and to return by some sudden miracle to that cold dreamy state of indifference to all other men, and of unfailing thoughtfulness for her husband, from which she had been so cruelly awakened.

She would have given anything to have not loved, now that the great struggle was over; but until the supreme moment had come, she had not been willing to put the dangerous thought from her, saving in those hours of prayer and solitary suffering, when the whole truth rose up clearly before her in its undisguised nakedness.


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