Had she ever been impatient for his coming?
She entered the tent proudly, her head high.
But the moment she was alone, reaction came.

She stood with her hands gripped together, fighting the old intolerable misgiving that even the lulling magic all around her had never succeeded in stilling.

What was she doing in this garden of delights with a man she did not love?
Had she not entered as it were by stealth?
How long would it be before her presence was discovered and she thrust forth into the outermost darkness in shame and bitterness of soul?
Another thought was struggling at the back of her mind, but she held it firmly there.

Never once had she suffered it to take full possession of her.

It belonged to that other life which she had found too hard to endure.