He believed he had ideas, but he had nothing substantial, no result, to point to.

He had therefore but little hope of success, and his natural hauteur and pride revolted against making application for enrolment which must be accompanied with much personal humiliation, since at best he could but begin in the common ranks.

The very idea of asking was repugnant to him.

The thought of Aurora, however, drew him on.
The pride was false, he said to himself, and arose from too high an estimate of his abilities; or it was the consequence of living so long entirely secluded from the world.

He acknowledged to himself that he had not been beaten down to his level.