[Nick of the Woods by Robert M. Bird]@TWC D-Link bookNick of the Woods CHAPTER XXXVI 11/27
In a word, he was one day arraigned before a county-court in Kentucky, on a charge of horse-stealing, and matters went hard against him, his many offences in that line having steeled the hearts of all against him, and the proofs of guilt, in this particular instance, being both strong and manifold.
Many an angry and unpitying eye was bent upon the unfortunate fellow, when his counsel rose to attempt a defence;--which he did in the following terms: "Gentlemen of the Jury," said the man of law,--"here is a man, Captain Ralph Stackpole, indicted before you on the charge of stealing a horse; and the affa'r is pretty considerably proved on him."-- Here there was a murmur heard throughout the court, evincing much approbation of the counsel's frankness.
"Gentlemen of the Jury," continued the orator, elevating his voice, "what I have to say in reply, is, first, that that man thar', Captain Ralph Stackpole, did, in the year seventeen seventy-nine, when this good State of Kentucky, and particularly those parts adjacent to Bear's Grass, and the mouth thereof, where now stands the town of Louisville, were overrun with yelping Injun-savages,--did, I say, gentlemen, meet two Injun-savages in the woods on Bear's Grass, and take their scalps, single-handed--a feat, gentlemen of the jury, that a'n't to be performed every day, even in Kentucky!" Here there was considerable tumult in the court, and several persons began to swear.
"Secondly, gentlemen of the jury," exclaimed the attorney-at-law, with a still louder voice, "what I have to say, _secondly_, gentlemen of the jury, is, that this same identical prisoner at the bar, Captain Ralph Stackpole, did, on another occasion, in the year seventeen eighty-two, meet another Injun-savage in the woods--a savage armed with rifle, knife, and tomahawk--and met him with--you suppose, gentlemen, with gun, axe, and scalper, in like manner!--No, gentlemen of the jury!--with his _fists_, and" (with a voice of thunder) "licked him to death in the natural way!--Gentlemen of the jury, pass upon the prisoner--guilty or not guilty ?" The attorney resumed his seat: his arguments were irresistible.
The jurors started up in their box, and roared out, to a man, "_Not guilty!_" From that moment, it may be supposed, Roaring Ralph could steal horses at his pleasure. Nevertheless, it seems, he immediately lost his appetite for horse-flesh; and leaving the land altogether, he betook himself to a more congenial element, launched his broad-horn on the narrow bosom of the Salt, and was soon afterwards transformed into a Mississippi alligator; in which amphibious condition, we presume, he roared on to the day of his death. As for the valiant Nathan Slaughter--the last of the list of worthies, after whom the young Virginian so often inquired--less was discovered in relation to his fate than that of the others.
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