She intimates that she should not wonder should Augusta grow weary of the office.
Lady Byron continues her statement thus:-- 'When I arrived at Kirkby Mallory, my parents were unacquainted with the existence of any causes likely to destroy my prospects of happiness; and, when I communicated to them the opinion that had been formed concerning Lord Byron's state of mind, they were most anxious to promote his restoration by every means in their power.

They assured those relations that were with him in London that "they would devote their whole case and attention to the alleviation of his malady."' Here we have a quotation {190a} from a letter written by Lady Milbanke to the anxious 'relations' who are taking counsel about Lord Byron in town.
Lady Byron also adds, in justification of her mother from Lord Byron's slanders, 'She had always treated him with an affectionate consideration and indulgence, which extended to every little peculiarity of his feelings.

Never did an irritating word escape her lips in her whole intercourse with him.' Now comes a remarkable part of Lady Byron's statement:-- 'The accounts given me after I left Lord Byron, by those in constant intercourse with him, {190b} added to those doubts which had before transiently occurred to my mind as to the reality of the alleged disease; and the reports of his medical attendants were far from establishing anything like lunacy.' When these doubts arose in her mind, it is not natural to suppose that they should, at first, involve Mrs.Leigh.

She still appears to Lady Byron as the devoted, believing sister, fully convinced of her brother's insanity, and endeavouring to restrain and control him.
But if Lord Byron were sane, if the purposes he had avowed to his wife were real, he must have lied about his sister in the past, and perhaps have the worst intentions for the future.
The horrors of that state of vacillation between the conviction of insanity and the commencing conviction of something worse can scarcely be told.
At all events, the wife's doubts extend so far that she speaks out to her parents.

'UNDER THIS UNCERTAINTY,' says the statement, 'I deemed it right to communicate to my parents, that, if I were to consider Lord Byron's past conduct as that of a person of sound mind, nothing could induce me to return to him.