You are the kind of woman who, if you had married comfortably some one you rather liked, might have become like Sybell Loftus, who never understands any feeling beyond her own microscopic ones, and who measures love by her own small preference for Doll.

You would have had no more sympathy than she has.

People, like Sybell, believe one can only sympathize with what one has experienced.
That is why they are always saying, 'as a mother,' or 'as a wife.' If that were true the world would have to get on without sympathy, for no two people have the same experience.

Only a shallow nature believes that a resemblance in two cups means that they both contain the same wine.

Sybell believes it, and you would have been very much the same, not from lack of perception, as in her case, but from want of using your powers of perception.