CHAPTER XIX.
"High minds of native pride and force Most deeply feel thy pangs, remorse! Fear of their scourge mean villains have; Thou art the torture of the brave." -- Scott.
Max sat before his writing-table, his folded arms upon it, and his face hidden upon them.

He was in sore distress of mind.

How he had fallen before temptation! into what depths of disgrace and sin! sin that in olden times would have been punished with death, even as the horrible crime of murder, and that must still be as hateful as ever in the sight of an unchangeable God.
And not only that sin, of which he had thought he had so truly and deeply repented, but another which he had always been taught was a very low and degrading vice.

Oh, could there be forgiveness for him?
And how would his dear honored father feel when the sad story should reach his ears?
would it indeed break his heart as Grandpa Dinsmore had said?
The boy's own heart was overwhelmed with grief, dismay, and remorse as he asked himself these torturing questions.
The door opened, but so softly that the sound was lost in his bitter sobbing, then a hand rested lightly, tenderly upon his bowed head, and a gentle, pitying voice said, "My poor, dear boy, my heart bleeds for you." "O Grandma Elsie!" he burst out, "can you say that to such a wicked fellow as I am ?" "Did not Jesus weep with compassion over the sinners of Jerusalem, many of whom were even then plotting His death?
And, Maxie, He pities you in your fallen estate, and is ready to forgive you the moment you turn to Him with grief and hatred of your sin and an earnest desire to forsake it, and to give yourself to His service." "Oh, I do, I do hate it!" he cried out with vehemence.

"I didn't mean ever to swear any more, and I feel as if I'd rather cut off my right hand than to do it again! But oh, how can I ask Him to forgive me, when He did once, and I've gone and done the same wicked thing again, just as if I hadn't been really sorry at all, though I was sure I was! Grandma Elsie, what shall I do ?" "'Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.' "'He is the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin.' "'His name is Jesus, for He shall save His people from their sins.' He says, 'Him that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out.' 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself; but in me is thine help.' "'Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.' "'I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for my own sake, and will not remember thy sins.'" "Oh, He is very good to say that!" sobbed the penitent boy.