He must first see her crushed before him; then he would have forgiven her, and loved her with all the passion of his soul.
But as she stood there by the door, looking so grand in her pride, and so pale with repressed mortification, and spoke so calmly, he had felt that in that moment he had been separated farther from her than ever he had been in all his wanderings at the other side of the globe.
He sat there with his mind in a chaotic state of desperation and sorrow, and of anger with himself.

What a grand creature she was! and he--how pitiful and petty! He set down the mug, which he had been absently toying with, hard on the table, and went out.
For a long while he wandered about the quays in a state of gloomy indecision, stopping every now and then to run his eye over the shipping, and his expression becoming darker still every time he did so.
From long practice he could tell by the appearance of every vessel what trade it was engaged in.

One was a coffee ship from Java; the next carried general cargo to all parts of the world; there was another that brought sugar and rum from the West Indies; and a fourth, that from its square build and breadth of beam must be a whaler returned from Spitzbergen.

He thought of their long voyages, and of the life without root or tie that was passed on board them--was he to go back to that life again?
It depended on Elizabeth; and he had not much hope.
To his impatient nature delay was intolerable; and he had half made up his mind to have his fate decided at once.

In spite of his agitation, however, he could still think with coolness; and he knew that if he was to have any chance at all, he must wait until the first unfortunate impression had had time to pass off.
It had been a grey, foggy autumn day, but was now clearing, and blue patches of sky were coming out; and as he crossed the bridge the afternoon sun shone out, and sent a ray of glittering light against the window-panes of the street along the canal.