What she actually wanted was the present state of affairs to continue indefinitely.
That is what terrified her: the consciousness that nothing in her life would be continuous, that she would no sooner form friendships (like the present) than relentless fate would thrust her into a new circle.

All the initial confidence in herself was gone; her courage was merely a shell to hide the lack.

To have the present lengthen into years! But in a few hours she would be upon her way, far lonelier than she had ever been.

As Spurlock called her name, she paused and turned.
"Dawn Pearl!...

come here!" She moved to the side of the bed.