And suppose I were not living ?" "I don't know." "You'd recover, wouldn't you ?" "I don't know what you mean." "Well, you'd never have any other temptation--" She turned scarlet.
"That is wicked!" "It certainly is," he said with great gravity; "and I must come to the scarcely flattering conclusion that there is in me a source of hideous depravity, the unseen emanations of which, like those of the classic upas-tree, are purest poison to a woman morally constituted as you are." She looked up as he laughed; but there was no mirth in her bewildered eyes.
"There _is_ something in you, Louis, which is fatal to the better side of me." "The _other_ Virginia couldn't endure me, I know." "My other self learned to love your better self." "I have none--" "I have seen it revealed in--" "Oh, yes," he laughed, "revealed in what you used to call one of my infernal flashes of chivalry." "Yes," she said quietly, "in that." He sat very still there in the afternoon sunshine, pondering; and sometimes his gaze searched the valley depths below, lost among the tree-tops; sometimes he studied the far horizon where the little blue hills stood up against the sky like little blue waves at sea.

His hat was off; the cliff breeze played with his dark curly hair, lifting it at the temples, stirring the one obstinate strand that never lay quite flat on the crown of his head.
Twice she looked around as though to interrupt his preoccupation, but he neither responded nor even seemed to be aware of her; and she sighed imperceptibly and followed his errant eyes with her own.
At last: "Is there no way out of it for you, Louis?
I am not thinking of myself," she added simply.
He turned fully around.
"If there was a way out I'd take it and marry you." "I did not ask for that; I was thinking of you." He was silent.
"Besides," she said, "I know that you do not love me." "That is true only because I _will_ not.

I could." She looked at him.
"But," he said calmly, "I mustn't; because there is no way out for me--there's no way out of anything for me--while I live--down here." "Down--where ?" "On this exotic planet called the earth, dear child," he said with mocking gravity.

"I'm a sort of moon-calf--a seed blown clear from Saturn's surface, which fell here and sprouted into the thing you call Louis Malcourt." And, his perverse gaiety in full possession of him again, he laughed, and his mirth was tinctured with the bitter-sweet of that humorous malice which jeered unkindly only at himself.
"All to the bad, Virginia--all to the bow-wows--judging me from your narrow, earthly standard and the laws of your local divinity.

That's why I want to see the real One and ask Him how bad I really am.