[The Absentee by Maria Edgeworth]@TWC D-Link bookThe Absentee CHAPTER XIV 22/31
But my own sentiments, you may be sure, are all I ever told Mr.Salisbury.' 'But of your own sentiments you may not be sure,' said Lord Colambre; 'and I see no reason why you should give him up from false generosity.' 'Generosity ?' interrupted Miss Nugent; 'you totally misunderstand me; there is no generosity, nothing for me to give up in the case.
I did not refuse Mr.Salisbury from generosity, but because I did not love him. Perhaps my seeing this at first prevented me from thinking of him as a lover; but, from whatever cause, I certainly never felt love for Mr. Salisbury, nor any of that pity which is said to lead to love; perhaps,' added she, smiling, 'because I was aware that he would be so much better off after I refused him--so much happier with one suited to him in age, talents, fortune, and love--"What bliss, did he but know his bliss," were HIS!' 'Did he but know his bliss,' repeated Lord Colambre; 'but is not he the best judge of his own bliss ?' 'And am not I the best judge of mine ?' said Miss Nugent; 'I go no farther.' 'You are; and I have no right to go farther.
Yet, this much permit me to say, my dear Grace, that it would give me sincere pleasure, that is, real satisfaction, to see you happily--established.' 'Thank you, my dear Lord Colambre; but you spoke that like a man of seventy at least, with the most solemn gravity of demeanour.' 'I meant to be serious, not solemn,' said Lord Colambre, endeavouring to change his tone. 'There now,' said she, in a playful tone, 'you have SERIOUSLY accomplished the task my good uncle set you; so I will report well of you to him, and certify that you did all that in you lay to exhort me to marry; that you have even assured me that it would give you sincere pleasure, that is, real satisfaction, to see me happily established.' 'Oh, Grace, if you knew how much I felt when I said that, you would spare this raillery.' 'I will be serious--I am most seriously convinced of the sincerity of your affection for me; I know my happiness is your object in all you have said, and I thank you from my heart for the interest you take about me.
But really and truly, I do not wish to marry.
This is not a mere commonplace speech; but I have not yet seen any man I could love.
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